Well here's one about the 4 things I wasn't prepared to have happen to my body. These things won't happen to everyone, but they're more common than you might think.
WARNING: I'm about to get personal!
1) Favorite Foods Become The Enemy
I was one of the lucky ones that didn't puke with my morning sickness. I just spent the entire day so nauseated I couldn't eat...so maybe not THAT lucky.
Suddenly, my favorite things in the world started triggering overwhelming nausea. Someone making coffee? Gag. Handling meat? Someone else do it, please.
Then came the heartburn. I craved spicy food but ended up in awful pain afterwards.
When my uterus got freaking huge, I ate constantly because anything more than a small serving made me painfully full.
2) Everything Hurts
Never had joint pain before? You do now! That sharp stitch in your side? Probably "Round Ligament Pain" thanks to muscles stretching out. So congested you feel like your head is in a vice? Welcome to Pregnant Rhinitis. When that's over you can enjoy your nose being dry and cracking on the inside.
Just wait until that baby settles down closer to the birth canal. It feels like you're smuggling a bowling ball in your vagina.
Those sweet baby kicks that feel weird and cool at the same time? Not as much fun on your ribcage...and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
3) Stretch Marks...Everywhere. And I Do Mean Everywhere.
I'm convinced everyone who says they didn't get stretch marks during pregnancy either didn't look hard enough or is a genetic mutant and not to be trusted.
I got stretch marks in the expected places: Belly, Hips, Breasts (I already had those thanks to my boobs being freaking huge)
I didn't expect to get stretch marks in Lady Land.
You heard me.
Stretch Marks. In my lower bathing suit area.
What. The. Actual. Hell.
4) Hormones Don't Only Mean Crying.
I got needy. Like a kitten level of needy. I wanted people around but wanted my space at the same time. I wanted to be cuddled but could barely stand being touched. I wanted to watch my favorite movies but got pissed off when they made me cry.
I was a mess.
Thanks hormones. You suck.
It's worth it in the end.
Getting a baby out of the deal was pretty cool. I grew a human inside me. Twice. It's pretty badass.