Those of you that aren't complete dirtbags probably want to help out the moms in your life. You see them when they struggle and, if you're not part of Mom Club, you have no idea what to do to help.
So here are FIVE things that mom in your life needs, but probably won't tell you.
Parenting is hard. I've written about that numerous times before but it always needs repeating.
Parenting. Is. Hard.
And with the internet, it's 10X harder. There are blogs written by, frankly, LYING LIARS THAT TELL LIES. You know the ones. The blog where she makes all of her food from scratch using veggies she harvested from her own garden all while homeschooling her 10 kids and wearing her home-sewn clothing.
I can't compete with that. You can't compete with that. I'm pretty sure even Martha Stewart would raise an eyebrow and take a hit of wine.
Moms are expected to keep clean homes (and clean kids....) all while maintaining children like the Von Trapp kids (but not too heavy or you're a tyrant).
And sometimes we need to vent about that. We need to sit down and say "THIS BLOWS AND I HATE IT" without feeling like a crappy (crappier) parent. Trust me, we beat ourselves up enough. We don't need your side-eye or frown of dismay when we chug wine straight from the bottle and cry.
You try cleaning poop off the walls while the freshly bathed "artist" screams bloody murder from their pack-n-play (or Rectangle of Torment) and then tell me you don't need a drink.
2) Any of our (legal) vices.
Got a mom in your friend group that loves coffee? You will make her DAY if you bring her a cup of Starbucks (or whatever) at random one morning. Because that's one fewer cup she has to make herself.
Bring her favorite snack foods to her door. Because grocery deliver is expensive and not "on-demand."
Find out her favorite wine and grab a bottle next time you're at the store. Chances are that it's cheap.....because good wine is expensive when you buy it weekly.
If you come over and plop down on my couch to eat chips and drink beer while watching Supernatural...we'll be better friends than the people the come over and want to TALK to me.
Because I've dealt with noise all day. All. Day. Long. Lots of noise. Lots of loud, shrill, eardrum straining noise.
But I also want the company of other human beings on occasion. I just don't want to feel obligated to play dancing monkey for anyone else.
So we end up reading books on our phones or browsing Facebook from opposite ends of the couch...I'm good with that if you are.
4) Sometimes we need adult conversation.
I'm not asking you to play roulette and choose one at random. You can ask what kind of day I had and if I need quiet or not. I won't bite your head off.
Because, yeah, sometimes I need to converse with someone over the age of 6. I don't need extensive debates or extremely intelligent topics.
If you want to talk about what books we've (attempted) to read lately? Cool. Want to talk about a fluff show like Pretty Little Liars? Awesome. Want to watch dumb videos on YouTube and make fun of them? That sounds like fun.
I also need to use grownup words at the end of the day. It's like shaking a freaking coke bottle...it's gonna spill out eventually and I'd rather it be when the kids aren't around.
And I don't want my already limited people skills to fade because all I talked about was Mickey Mouse all day.
Are you an awesome organizer? Do you love to cook? Can you clean a house in a few hours?
Help a mother out.
You'll have to force it upon us. Chances are, we aren't going to ASK for your help. We also may smile and thank you while saying "Oh, you don't need to do that."
That mother is probably lying to you in an attempt to save face and look like she has it all together. She's been brainwashed by that Lying Mother's blog she reads. Do not believe a word she says. She probably does need your help. INSIST upon it.
And then come over and smile while you do laundry or dishes. Bring a casserole that you "made but can't eat." Insist that you need to keep your organizational skills sharp by practicing on various households.
You do whatever it takes to help that mom. And you remember #1 on this list while you do it. Don't judge her for the sink full of filthy dishes because she probably had to put those on hold while Google searching how to get Vaseline out of hair...and clothing...and carpet. (Blue Dawn soap, by the way)