It comes up on Facebook a lot so I'm putting it ALL down in a blog...because I'm lazy and sharing a link is easier than typing a novel each time.
I willingly submit to my husband.
The general feeling when I say that is something like this:
I willingly submit to my husband.
The general feeling when I say that is something like this:
Because when people hear "submission" (outside of the kinky sense) they see this
When I talk about submission in MY marriage I want you to erase every stereotype that you know about being submissive.
1) I don't beg my husband for money.
I ASK my husband before I spend money because HE keeps track of the finances better than I do. There are months where $20 could break our bank so, yeah, I ask before spending that much. I do have a credit card but I'm responsible enough to not use it unless necessary. It's not asking permission...it's asking what the finances look like today and if a purchase will effect them a week from now.
I suck with money. I used to have a shopping problem (borderline addiction) and I hate math. Hubby is Math-Guy. He's also FINANCE in the Air Force. So money is kind of his job.
2) He has the final say in major decisions...after we've talked about it.
I suck at decision making. I really really do. It's a RELIEF to hand that over to him. (Well, most of the time) When a big decision has to be made we discuss it, I make sure my opinions are heard, and then HE makes the final call. It's just easier that way.
3) He doesn't micromanage.
Seriously? Who has time for that crap? He has a full-time job. If he had to leave a list of things for me to do and set out rules for how my day went? He'd go crazy. I make a lot of the parenting decisions simply because I'm here all day. I can't call him every single time a decision needs to be made. That's impractical. We share chores because it's OUR house. It's not his kingdom with me as the scullery maid.
4) I could leave if I wanted to.
I DON'T WANT TO. Let's get that very freaking clear. But I feel no fear in my marriage. I'm safe at home. No abuse or violence of any kind. The finances would be a struggle but I'm not working so that's MY deal. He doesn't prevent me from working. That's MY choice. (And it saves a crap-ton of money)
5) Most importantly, I choose to.
I made these decisions. I CHOOSE to submit to my husband because it's what I believe is Biblical and best for ME. Do I think it's best for everyone? It doesn't matter. That's not my call. It's not my job to tell you how to run your marriage. I believe that submission in a healthy marriage can work beautifully. But not every marriage is healthy. Not every marriage has the same dynamics. Sometimes the woman works while the man stays at home. That's fine too if it works for you. If you both work? That must be hard and my heart goes out to you, but whatever you need to do to make your household run...do it.
According to misandrists (my new favorite term) I should feel bad about these decisions because it makes patriarchy look like a good idea.
But you know me...
1) I don't beg my husband for money.
I ASK my husband before I spend money because HE keeps track of the finances better than I do. There are months where $20 could break our bank so, yeah, I ask before spending that much. I do have a credit card but I'm responsible enough to not use it unless necessary. It's not asking permission...it's asking what the finances look like today and if a purchase will effect them a week from now.
I suck with money. I used to have a shopping problem (borderline addiction) and I hate math. Hubby is Math-Guy. He's also FINANCE in the Air Force. So money is kind of his job.
2) He has the final say in major decisions...after we've talked about it.
I suck at decision making. I really really do. It's a RELIEF to hand that over to him. (Well, most of the time) When a big decision has to be made we discuss it, I make sure my opinions are heard, and then HE makes the final call. It's just easier that way.
3) He doesn't micromanage.
Seriously? Who has time for that crap? He has a full-time job. If he had to leave a list of things for me to do and set out rules for how my day went? He'd go crazy. I make a lot of the parenting decisions simply because I'm here all day. I can't call him every single time a decision needs to be made. That's impractical. We share chores because it's OUR house. It's not his kingdom with me as the scullery maid.
4) I could leave if I wanted to.
I DON'T WANT TO. Let's get that very freaking clear. But I feel no fear in my marriage. I'm safe at home. No abuse or violence of any kind. The finances would be a struggle but I'm not working so that's MY deal. He doesn't prevent me from working. That's MY choice. (And it saves a crap-ton of money)
5) Most importantly, I choose to.
I made these decisions. I CHOOSE to submit to my husband because it's what I believe is Biblical and best for ME. Do I think it's best for everyone? It doesn't matter. That's not my call. It's not my job to tell you how to run your marriage. I believe that submission in a healthy marriage can work beautifully. But not every marriage is healthy. Not every marriage has the same dynamics. Sometimes the woman works while the man stays at home. That's fine too if it works for you. If you both work? That must be hard and my heart goes out to you, but whatever you need to do to make your household run...do it.
According to misandrists (my new favorite term) I should feel bad about these decisions because it makes patriarchy look like a good idea.
But you know me...
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