A Parenting Update

If you follow me on Facebook (or are a trusted friend that has been getting my emotionally charged emails/texts) you know I've tried a new parenting approach.

The Hardass Approach

Early last week I was FED UP. Part of it was probably the stupid NuvaRing hormones (I've since taken that piece of crap out) 
It started with banning certain foods for the week. It was foods that created massive messes from misuse. On the list was mango cups (chunks in juice), syrup, and coconut water. Why? Because the kids got it EVERYWHERE. I'm talking a good 6 inches worth of mess on the table...from each food. 

How I assume the eating happened

Next I tried something I've threatened to do but hadn't followed through with yet...

I grabbed a trash bag and started bagging up toys. 

Refuse to listen? I'll get a bag.
Yell at me? Oh look, a trash bag. 
Leaving toys out after I said pick them up? Hmm guess where they're going. 

Things like this?

I stood there with 2 trash bags. One for broken items and one for the rest of the stuff. THEY loaded them up.

At one point I'd taken away 95% of their toys and said I'd be getting a bag. Boy1 commented that I'd already taken everything...in a tone that said "haha, I win." 

Nope.

I cable-tied the trampoline shut and took EVERYTHING that belonged to them from downstairs.

I felt like a shoddy parent. Big time. However, when I realized that it took 6 full sized trash bags to gather up their toys? I felt less bad. 

In venting my frustration I saw my friend list divide into two camps. 
Camp One was cheering me on and telling me that I just needed to hold out before I saw results. 
Camp Two saw the frustration and assumed it wasn't working. 

Well, the verdict is in.....


And it's working. 

At first it was SO MINUTE I didn't notice until hours later. For instance, at one point Boy1 demanded I get him some water. I calmly told him that there was a cup on the kitchen table and he could walk in there and get it. He yelled that he wanted it in his water bottle. I refused and ignored his next attempt to yell. He paused, sighed, "okay" and went to get it. 

Now, for someone who's kid doesn't fight them on everything? You don't see that as a triumph. For me with the child that needs a stronger word than "stubborn?" THAT WAS FREAKING HUGE!

Yesterday was full of better choices and better listening. Tonight I'm going to work on a "Good Choices" chart or something because I actually CAN now. 

But Kas, you're asking, what about all of their toys? 

They'll get some of them back. No way are they getting all of the bags back. I'll choose 1-2 bags worth for them to have, put anything great in a bin for future rotation/storage, and donate the crap out of the rest of it. 

I'll keep you updated on the progress. But I'm excited that I FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT parenting wise.