Sarcastic Parenting
Find Me!
  • Home
  • About Me
    • Links to Previous Blogs
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
  • Legal Stuff
    • Privacy Policy
    • Disclosure Policy

5 Things That Mom In Your Life Needs (but may not tell you)

2/25/2015

3 Comments

 
There are probably a handful of parents in your life. I can't speak for fathers so this will be about moms. 

Those of you that aren't complete dirtbags probably want to help out the moms in your life. You see them when they struggle and, if you're not part of Mom Club, you have no idea what to do to help. 

So here are FIVE things that mom in your life needs, but probably won't tell you. 
Picture
1) A judgment free place to vent. 

Parenting is hard. I've written about that numerous times before but it always needs repeating. 

Parenting. Is. Hard. 

And with the internet, it's 10X harder. There are blogs written by, frankly, LYING LIARS THAT TELL LIES. You know the ones. The blog where she makes all of her food from scratch using veggies she harvested from her own garden all while homeschooling her 10 kids and wearing her home-sewn clothing. 

I can't compete with that. You can't compete with that. I'm pretty sure even Martha Stewart would raise an eyebrow and take a hit of wine. 

Moms are expected to keep clean homes (and clean kids....) all while maintaining children like the Von Trapp kids (but not too heavy or you're a tyrant). 

And sometimes we need to vent about that. We need to sit down and say "THIS BLOWS AND I HATE IT" without feeling like a crappy (crappier) parent. Trust me, we beat ourselves up enough. We don't need your side-eye or frown of dismay when we chug wine straight from the bottle and cry.

You try cleaning poop off the walls while the freshly bathed "artist" screams bloody murder from their pack-n-play (or Rectangle of Torment) and then tell me you don't need a drink. 
Picture
Speaking of wine...

2) Any of our (legal) vices.

Got a mom in your friend group that loves coffee? You will make her DAY if you bring her a cup of Starbucks (or whatever) at random one morning. Because that's one fewer cup she has to make herself. 

Bring her favorite snack foods to her door. Because grocery deliver is expensive and not "on-demand." 

Find out her favorite wine and grab a bottle next time you're at the store. Chances are that it's cheap.....because good wine is expensive when you buy it weekly.
Picture
3) To be around people without entertaining them.

If you come over and plop down on my couch to eat chips and drink beer while watching Supernatural...we'll be better friends than the people the come over and want to TALK to me. 

Because I've dealt with noise all day. All. Day. Long. Lots of noise. Lots of loud, shrill, eardrum straining noise. 

But I also want the company of other human beings on occasion. I just don't want to feel obligated to play dancing monkey for anyone else.

So we end up reading books on our phones or browsing Facebook from opposite ends of the couch...I'm good with that if you are. 
Picture
On the other hand...

4) Sometimes we need adult conversation.

I'm not asking you to play roulette and choose one at random. You can ask what kind of day I had and if I need quiet or not. I won't bite your head off. 

Because, yeah, sometimes I need to converse with someone over the age of 6. I don't need extensive debates or extremely intelligent topics. 

If you want to talk about what books we've (attempted) to read lately? Cool. Want to talk about a fluff show like Pretty Little Liars? Awesome. Want to watch dumb videos on YouTube and make fun of them? That sounds like fun. 

I also need to use grownup words at the end of the day. It's like shaking a freaking coke bottle...it's gonna spill out eventually and I'd rather it be when the kids aren't around. 

And I don't want my already limited people skills to fade because all I talked about was Mickey Mouse all day.
Picture
5) An extra set of hands. 

Are you an awesome organizer? Do you love to cook? Can you clean a house in a few hours?

Help a mother out.

You'll have to force it upon us. Chances are, we aren't going to ASK for your help. We also may smile and thank you while saying "Oh, you don't need to do that."

That mother is probably lying to you in an attempt to save face and look like she has it all together. She's been brainwashed by that Lying Mother's blog she reads. Do not believe a word she says. She probably does need your help. INSIST upon it. 

And then come over and smile while you do laundry or dishes. Bring a casserole that you "made but can't eat." Insist that you need to keep your organizational skills sharp by practicing on various households. 

You do whatever it takes to help that mom. And you remember #1 on this list while you do it. Don't judge her for the sink full of filthy dishes because she probably had to put those on hold while Google searching how to get Vaseline out of hair...and clothing...and carpet. (Blue Dawn soap, by the way)
Picture
What would make your mom life easier? Let me know in the comments!
3 Comments

You Probably Make Me Angry (Have Some Honesty)

2/18/2015

4 Comments

 
I have over 300 friends on Facebook. 359 at the time of this post, to be exact. 

A fair amount of them are mothers. 

Considering I'm posting this to my FB, you're probably one of them. 

Let me preface this post by saying that everything contained therein is MY baggage and MY damage and NOT your fault. I'm not blaming or shaming you. I don't want you to feel bad. 

I want to throw down some honesty in hopes that other moms who feel like me can have a good cry while whispering, "Oh thank God, it's not just me." 

If you're looking for a sarcastic, up beat, laugh filled post....close the tab now because this isn't it.

Picture
When you post about your kids sleeping peacefully at 8am while I'm refereeing the 5th fight of the morning...I get frustrated. 

When I see the "all 3 kids down for a nap, score" post when I'm eye-balling the wine in the fridge at noon? I've probably *hidden* your post. 

When all of your photos are of sleeping children or siblings playing nicely together while mine LITERALLY punch each other in the face...I get jealous. 

Each "I love being a Mommy" and "Best job EVAH" post twists my heart a little bit. 

Because I don't feel that way.
Picture
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten downright angry at my fellow moms on Facebook...and they didn't even know it. 

What's WRONG with me that I'm not having the same experience? What is so DAMAGED inside me that I can't love this "job" I chose? WHY do my kids fight all the time and get violent with me when yours are so freaking peaceful? Where did I go wrong? Why do you get the good times when I spend mine sobbing on the shower floor? It's not fair. 

I'm a failure. 

Or...that's how it feels. 
Picture
I had vast plans of homeschooling through high school. 

My kids will probably start private school in the fall (if scholarships work out). 

I had them close together (20 months apart) because I thought them being close in age would mean they'd get along better. 

It means I don't get a break in attitude shifts. 

I had mental images of a clean home, meals made from scratch, and lots of crafty crap made by yours truly. 

I've actually checked out and can barely muster up the mental/emotional energy to do the damn dishes each day. 

So yeah....add your successful homeschooling posts and homemaking success stories to my list of things that punch me in the gut. 
Picture
I'm sure there are a dozen of you going, "But...but Kas. I've always felt that way about you!"

Consider your bubble burst. 

Here's your dose of reality: It's not just you. 

Those thoughts you've had about running away? I mentally packed a bag and cried because what kind of mother thinks like that? 

That urge to scream until your throat bleeds because MAYBE THEN someone will freaking listen and see how miserable you are? Been there, honey. Have some wine with me. 
Picture
So here's to my fellow moms that clench their fists while browsing Facebook. 

Who have to walk away from social media more than once a day because you feel like a failure. 

Who cry in the shower because it's the only time you ever get alone to just FEEL. 

Who are nodding along to this post because Facebook Snapshots of Life is the most frustrating thing ever. 

You're not alone. 

Have some wine. 
Picture
Comments are open but if you're going to suggest therapy (I have an appointment, thanks), tell me I'm a shitty mother (I know, thanks) or suggest something asinine (I'm sure you're out there) just...don't. 
4 Comments
    Got Pinterests?
    Follow

    Archives

    January 2019
    October 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    50 Shades
    AZtoAK
    BookReview
    Books
    Cats
    Comicon
    Declutter365
    Food
    For Cheap
    For Fun
    Friday
    Funny
    Gifts
    Hotel Living
    MHM
    Parenting
    Party
    Personal
    Princess
    Rant
    ReadAThon
    Recipe
    Review
    Skin Care
    Story Time
    TastyTuesday
    Thrift Store
    Tip
    TodayInHistory
    Top5
    Travel
    Weird
    Wine
    YouTube

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.