What is your default answer when someone asks how you are and you don't want to talk about it? 

"I'm fine." 

When my depression was at its peak and people would politely ask this question I would always plaster on a grin and answer, "I'm fine." 

The other popular answer was "Just tired." 

When I really felt like this:

A few years ago, I'm not sure exactly when, I stopped lying. 

Now, I don't word vomit my problems all over unsuspecting friends. But I don't smile and say "I'm fine" when I'm really not. 

After my surgery a friend checked on me to ask how I was doing. My response was something like, "Sore, tired, bored." She told me it was refreshing to see me honestly say how I felt. I didn't see a reason to lie. I was bored as hell staying in bed. I was tired because healing is exhausting. I was sore because I had surgery. Why bundle all that up in "fine" when I wasn't? 

If I'm having a bad day I'll give it a word like "overwhelmed" or "stressed." This is good for ME. Instead of pushing my feelings down and ignoring them, I give them names. 

There are times when a friend will hug me and ask how I'm doing and I'll respond with "Okay" because I'm not horrible but not GOOD either. 

And if I don't want to talk about it?

I don't hide that either. 

This week we're all talking about Book Series You Wish Had More Books. 

Yes. I can do this one. Because I know exactly what I'm listing FIRST!

#5: The Night World Series by LJ Smith
IT HAS BEEN OVER 15 YEARS AND WE STILL DON'T HAVE A CONCLUSION. Seriously, fans that grew up with this series are going to be in their nursing home still waiting for the finale. 
It's worse than Sherlock

#4: Earth's Children (Clan Of The Cave Bear) by Jean Auel 
I'm not the only one who felt cheated by the last book. Most of my friends and I wanted more of a conclusion. We walked away with more questions than answers and wondering the fate of many characters....including our protagonist. The book didn't feel like a true conclusion. 

#3: Wayside School
I love these books (notice the present tense! I still love them) They're fun and fluffy and silly. It's easy to read and I plan on introducing my kids to them ASAP. 
I'd definitely read more. New people and more crazy happenings at Wayside? Yes please. 

#4: Raven Children by Kayla Al-Shamma-Jones
I got "Black Hat" for free on my Kindle. It's weird and creepy and confusing and haunting. 
I felt like there was something missing...like I'd skipped a book despite it being the first in the series. I said as much during my review and the author wrote back telling me it would be explained in future novels. 
The 2nd book was in the same universe but not a direct continuation. I even paid for it (full price...something I rarely do) and walked away upset. I've checked her author website and pages and come up empty. There's nothing out there in the way of plans for another book or continuing the series. So I feel lied to...but I'd read more just because I have questions. 

#5: Most Biographies I've Read And Enjoyed
Where are you? What happened after the close of the book? Did your disorder stay under control? Did you relapse? Did you find love? Did your marriage work out? I WONDER ABOUT YOU. 

This week I'm participating in Top Five Wednesday! Click to visit the Goodreads group!

I've established that I read A LOT. I'm super sad that I can't do the Bout of Books read-a-thon this week because of moving. Sigh. 

So, I'm blogging to talk about books instead. I know, I don't do that enough right? 

This week's topic is Top 5 Tropes You Hate. Awesome. I get to talk about things that annoy me!

In no particular order....

#1: Tragic Illness 
This is a huge reason I didn't read "The Fault In Our Stars" or whatever. I grew up reading Lurlene McDaniel books. She did the tragic "teen has an incurable disease and probably dies" a long long time ago. I got burned out on it in my early teens so now it just annoys me. 

#2: Instant Love
No. No. No. You're attracted to him. You want to sleep with him. You are not in love with him a day after meeting. Sorry. You don't know anything about each other. What if he likes kicking puppies? What if he hates pizza? What if he's an alien? YOU DON'T KNOW. 

#3: Rich Experienced Guy and Naive Young Girl
AKA 50 Shades of Grey Syndrome. The guy is a few years older, very experienced, and very very rich. The girl is girl next door pretty, hates herself, and has little to no experience with relationships. Stop it.

#4: Angels, Shifters, and Vampires
I swear it was just a common thing for a long time. Like, oh...you have angel blood in your veins so you have special powers or that guy that's in love with you is a fallen angel who gave up his wings to be with you. I read so many crappy angel books that I will immediately put one down if it even implies angelic powers. 
I tacked on shifters and vampires because, seriously, there are other mythological creatures out there. Be more creative. Please! Mermaids are quickly rising to my "NOT AGAIN" list as well.

#5: Infidelity
WHY IS THIS AN OKAY THING?!? 
It's not okay. It's not cute. It's not romantic. Stop doing it. 

I'm actually a little sad I'm limited to 5 items. I could probably list a dozen tropes I never want to read again....but will because I'm a rat in a cage pressing the drug button when it comes to books. 

Those who knew me on my previous blog will probably remember my grand plans for homeschooling. 

You remember how I started "tot school" super early and had delusions that I could successfully teach both of my children at the same time. 

You remember my hatred for formal schooling and my vehement refusal to send my child off somewhere. 

Oh how the mighty have fallen. 

My older son has completed a full week of private school. AND HE LOVES IT. 

Sigh. 

In all seriousness, I still struggle with the decision. 

I know it's what's best for him and me. We cannot spend that much time together. We drive each other crazy. I had checked out as far as parenting was concerned...let's not even talk about schooling. And after spending the entire day with me, I was the last person he wanted to listen to AT ALL...let alone learn from. 

I get so much more done during the day when the two boys are apart. There's no way I could have packed as much as I have with both of them together (as evidenced by this weekend)

I know recognizing what was best for him and choosing that is the opposite of failing...but I still feel like I failed somehow. 

So, for now, we're choosing school for him and probably for both as of next year. It's been good for all of us because I no longer look like this at 8am...