Remember when you cared about being cool? I do. 

I remember looking at my new high school and thinking "I'm going to rule. I'm going to be so cool." 

​Um. No.

​I like to pretend I'm not cool because of parenthood...

But, honestly, I've never been cool...or popular. 

When I was a senior and my brother was a freshman I was known as "James' Sister." Not my name. Not my accomplishments. Nope. My little brother was cooler than me. 

Even in college I got to where I introduced myself as "Stefan's Girlfriend" because that was an association people could place. "Oh, I do theater" got blank stares. 

It used to bother me. Truly it did. In high school I wracked my brain for ways to fit in and, apparently, got the notice of a popular snob who bitched about it behind my back. "Kasondra needs to stop acting like she's popular because she's not." 

I hated high school. Probably more than I hate celery. 

Okay, maybe as much as​ I hate celery. 

There's a part of me that never really got over it. I still have this deep seated urge to be liked (don't we all?) and I find my mind wandering to "do they really like me or do they tolerate me?" 

Which is dumb. People wouldn't ask after me or come over if they didn't like me. 

Shut up. They wouldn't!

Every year people put out these lists of things they want to change about themselves. Okay, if you're giving up an unhealthy vice or trying to insert a positive change into your life...go for it. 

But I see a lot of self-hate this time of year. The fitness industry thrives on it. Watch as MLMs slash prices and gyms offer a special "new customer discount." Check out the ads being shoved in your face for this cream or that procedure. Look at all of the posts coming out encouraging people to change how they dress, talk, interact with people, etc...

Why? 

Why not make a resolution to accept who you are and love that person? Take your "flaws" and look at them like quirks. When I write, I purposefully give characters quirks that make them unique. Think of your favorite book character. Do they have a catchphrase? What's their identifying detail? What topic do they totally geek out over? What's something weird about them that makes you love them that much more? 

You are that person for someone in your life. Unless it's destructive, why change it?

So, one of my main goals in 2016 is to take my flaws and wrap them in a big dumb hug until I learn to love them. 

Because everyone loves me for my weirdness...I should be able to as well.

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The Bout of Books read-a-thon is organized by Amanda @ On a Book Bender and Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal. It is a week long read-a-thon that begins 12:01am Monday, January 4th and runs through Sunday, January 10th in whatever time zone you are in. Bout of Books is low-pressure. There are challenges, giveaways, and a grand prize, but all of these are completely optional. For all Bout of Books 15 information and updates, be sure to visit the Bout of Books blog. - From the Bout of Books team

IT'S BOUT OF BOOKS TIME!

I don't know why...but this is my favorite Read-a-thon. Maybe it's because it's pretty active on social media or maybe because it's one of the first I ever did...in any case, it's that time again!!!

That time when I read books about like normal with a little extra push and call it a special time.

Here's what's on my list (in no particular order):

​Ensnared by AG Howard
It's become a thing for me to read a Splintered Series novel during Bout of Books...so I'm keeping that going with this one.

And With Madness Comes The Light (Experiment In Terror 6.5) by Karina Halle
This is actually a novella in the series but a necessary read. I'm currently addicted to these. I regret nothing. 

Come Alive (Experiment In Terror 7) by Karina Halle
Of course I have to go into the next full length novel. Duh.

Marvel Zombies: Volume 1
I bought this graphic novel for my husband for Christmas and I was very patient in allowing him to read it first. MY TURN!

Snowbound by Blake Crouch
I got this when it was free and I've been holding on to it since 2013. I loved the Wayward Pines trilogy by this author so I need to give this a go.

Friends Without Benefits by Penny Reid
I was gifted this by a Secret Vixen (Santa). I liked the first one and definitely recommend you pick it up.

Dear Professor by Blaire Drake
I was gifted this piece of smut from a quickie giveaway on Facebook. I have no expectations except it's "hot" and "easy to read" so....there's that.

TBR Jar Pick
This will be random and chosen during the event from this list. 

I was given this product in exchange for an honest review. 

​This post contains affiliate links.

It's no secret that I love wine. 

I'm not even going to lie to you and say I'm a connoisseur. That's a laugh. I drink sweet, pink, and usually bubbly. $6 wine is just as good as that bottle of $15 wine (am I supposed to pay more than that? At the rate I drink it? Ha!)
 

My home, however, has not been good to wine glasses. 

I've had them knocked over. They've been thrown (by children). I've broken several in the dishwasher (heavy crap bangs into them and SNAP). 

It's sad. I cry a little inside every single time. 

So when I saw these were available for a chance to review, of course I jumped on it! 

​

THEY'RE SO PRETTY!!!!

The pictures really don't do them justice but I couldn't gush without photographic evidence! 

They have good weight (I don't feel like they'll break just by being held) and they're BIG!

I'd recommend these as a gift for any wine lover in your life. Hell, anyone that likes pretty things could use these. I'd drink water out of these babies if I wanted to feel super fancy. 

No worries, they're good for the man in your life too. The colors are fairly unisex and subtle enough to match most decor. The maroon/red will fit in nicely with the theme I'm working on in the dining room. 

You need these in your life!

Debrief: noun

1. 1.
   a series of questions about a completed mission or undertaking.

There are about 4 days left in 2015. 

Thank. God. 

I've actually typed 2016 on accident more often than I can count because I'm THAT READY for this year to just shut up and die. 

We aren't going to talk about my having a second surgery (this one major) because the first didn't work. 

I'm not retelling the story of when I sort of almost died....and then immediately had to deal with all sorts of BS.

No, we're just going to do a quick rundown of the last few weeks. 

Because, trust me, that's enough for me right now. 

SO. Several weeks ago my psychiatrist upped my Prozac dosage because my depression was coming back. (It always does during the holidays) That means I'm currently adjusting to a new dosage....which can take 1-2 weeks depending on the person. Yay. 

On December 19th (4 days after my 9 year wedding anniversary and the week before Christmas) my abusive ex-boyfriend sent me a message on Facebook. 
Seriously? Because WHY NOT, right?

I'll do a big post coming up about THAT debacle because I'm still not quite ready to unpack that box of crap. 

Basically: Screw him. He's still an ass and I'm better off without him anywhere near my life. 

The night before the 23rd my husband's Christmas gift to me arrived...

A stomach bug. 

I literally spent the night climbing out of bed to stumble into the bathroom and pray for death in between dry heaves. 

The entire next day I ate Sonic ice (you can buy it by the bag) and Gatorade with a spoon. Eventually I noshed on some Saltine crackers and medicated enough to sleep. 

I was able to sleep most of the day on Christmas Eve....while my husband and mother-in-law readied everything for our big dinner we were hosting. 

Yep. Big dinner. While I was still dehydrated and malnourished. Thankfully it had been over 24 hours since any sort of gross incident so I felt safe being around people. 

​Safe....Not good.

Christmas Day arrived bright and early, per usual. I can't even be mad because...come on. 

I did, however, get frustrated when my children managed to lose pieces to the set I bought them pretty much immediately. 

Admittedly, I was in a bad place anxiety/depression wise that morning anyway. Fighting with each other and me didn't help. 

I crawled into bed as soon as I got home from visiting family and slept. 

Yesterday we dropped my mother-in-law off at the airport and ran a few errands....listening to kids bitch about how long it was taking the entire time. 

So yeah, I wish I could say this was an awesome holiday and give a glowing report of how things went...but as my children sit 2 feet from me literally punching each other I just...can't. 

I'm counting down the days until 2016. 

Not because I plan on celebrating New Year's Eve (puh-lease) but because I'm damn well ready for 2015 to be over and done with. DONE. NO MORE. GO AWAY. 

I'm considering a PO Box just so I can shamelessly ask strangers to send me chocolate because my bank account doesn't support my current need. 

If you know where I live please feel free to drop some at my door step and walk away slowly. Bonus if you bring alcohol too. 

I was first introduced to The Polar Express as a kid. A girl that babysat me picked it up at the mall while exclaiming it was her favorite book. I was a huge reader from the start so I grabbed my own copy as soon as I could. 

It's a neat book...a 32 page picture book. 

Who had the bright idea to make it a full length feature film? 

I find it interesting that a book about the "spirit of Christmas" was bastardized for monetary purposes. 

Not surprising, but interesting. 

My complaints all surround the movie my house has now watched 3 times in the last week.

Obviously, spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the movie that came out in 2004... 

First of all, "get on this random train in the middle of the night without telling your parents with no explanation" is creepy. It doesn't matter how "magical" and "special" the movie makes it out to be; the premise is freaking weird. 

Why is the most inept conductor ever in charge of all of these minors? Who approved that? Who hired this guy? Santa?? Santa is obviously an idiot.

Who is the "coffee" drinking hobo train hopper? Is he magical? Is he Jack Frost? A ghost? Santa in disguise? A guy that should be driving a windowless van?

​Why the small number of children? How were these kids chosen? They don't seem to have anything in common except living in the same general area. Does another town get to go next year? That seems highly inefficient. 

Why are the puppets talking? That's creepy as hell. 

.....why are the elves speaking Yiddish? 

"I was checking out my gifts and all I found was stupid underpants." Yes, there's the spirit of Christmas right there kids: bitch when you didn't get a "good enough" gift. 

The child that didn't even believe in Santa...who spent the ​entire trip breaking the rules...is the one that gets the first gift? Are you kidding me? Not the kids that listened. Not the poor kid (from "the other side of the tracks" of all things) who needs a reason to believe in Christmas again. Noooo 

The parents don't believe in Santa (shown by them not hearing the bell) and yet NO ONE QUESTIONS HOW THIS GIFT GOT IN THE HOUSE?!

I received this product for free in exchange for an honest review. 

Once upon a time, my parents owned their own janitorial company. We (yes, we) mostly cleaned things like office buildings and daycare centers. 

Over the years, I learned several important things...

- People are gross
- Some janitorial companies are terrible
- There is a an "okay way" and a "right way" to clean things
- The janitor deserves as much, if not more, respect than anyone else

I also associate the smell of cleaning products with home and comfort because that was family time. I bought some "ammonia free" Windex a few months ago and hate using it because it doesn't smell right. They say smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. Certain things just smell like childhood to me. Play-Dough (store bought, not homemade), baking banana bread, and certain cleaners. 

When I open a new bottle of essential oil I always always sniff it. It can be something I've purchased a thousand times and I'll still tear into the box like a kid at Christmas. 

So when I got my first bottle of Tea Tree Oil from Simply Earth, I did exactly that...
and instantly transported back to childhood. It smells so clean!!! 

I know there are a dozen uses for Tea Tree oil. Most of which involve dealing with skin issues (bug bites, rashes, etc) but I just had​ to use it to clean.

This is baking soda with several drops of oil...lid on and shake shake shake. 

I took it upstairs and poured a little in hot water in the sink and used that solution to clean the counter and floor of the bathroom.  Today, I poured some in a bowl of hot water and dipped a sponge to clean the counters. 

I also put a few drops on the cleaning pad of my steam mop to make it smell nice. 

You can bet your britches I'm going to take that powder upstairs and apply it to the carpet in the guest room (previously the cats' room)

Like I said previously about Simply Earth, this is a newer but pretty awesome company. This is definitely a company I'll keep on my radar. 

I don't know about you, but sometimes I need a giggle with my romance. 

Okay, a lot of times I need a giggle with my romance. The best way to destress after an intense thriller? Giggling at the next book you read. 

So here are a few that I read in 2015 that I highly recommend!! 

Nuts by Alice Clayton.
Everything I've read by Alice Clayton has been hilarious. I recommended "Wallbanger" once before for a reason! Her books never fail to make me laugh. 

Call Me, Maybe by Ellie Cahill
(sorry for the ear worm)
A phone mixup makes this an amusing but still very hot romance novel! It hits the deck on February 9th but you can preorder if you want! (I recommend it, I loved this book)

Neanderthal Seeks Human by Penny Reid
THIS BOOK IS CURRENTLY FREE!
Are you awkward? This is your heroine! Every painfully awkward encounter you've had with the opposite sex (or whatever...I don't judge) will make you relate to the main character of this book. It was sort of freeing to read something where the heroine wasn't perfect.

Be sure and PIN or bookmark this page to refer back to when you need something light to read in 2016. You won't be disappointed!!

Sometimes I throw things together and it's a total fail (let's not talk about the cabbage ground beef casserole failure from several years ago, k?) 

But this is one that THE KIDS ACTUALLY ATE. Including my picky one!! 

There's a similar recipe on Pinterest that calls for cream cheese and is made in the crock pot. I'm hesitant to make things with cream cheese that aren't going to stay heated because it gets clumpy and weird. 

First, start your pot of water boiling. I don't know WHY but that's taken forever around here so I start it early. 

Next brown up one pound of Italian Sausage (we used Hot) in a pan until no pink remains. 

When that's done, add a can of tomato sauce and a can of tomato paste and stir around.

Now, I won't tell you how to season your sauce because everyone is different. I threw in some Italian Seasoning, garlic powder, and salt....but I do it to taste and I swear it never turns out exactly the same each time. 

To finish off the sauce, throw in 1/2 cup of heavy cream. 

I didn't say it was a healthy recipe, okay?

​It should look something like this

Turn this to a simmer (really really low) and cook your cheese tortellini. 

Drain and all that jazz and then mix the two together. 

Bam. Dinner. 

​This is SO fast and so easy. 

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When I say "Baby Shower" I'm sure visions of diaper cakes and onesies dance through your head. 

You know what Mom is going to get thousands of? Diapers and onesies. 

You're right, you can't have too many diapers. But, if you're like me, you like to be original with your gifts.

Here are THREE things Mom probably won't get, but needs at her shower. 

1) Liquid Benedryl
No, this isn't for sleepless nights (I'd be lying if I said I'd never considered it though). Allergies can occur out of nowhere. The first time you introduce peas may be when Junior's throat closes up. Even if allergies don't run in your family; EVERYONE needs liquid Benedryl on hand at all times. 
I had my own ADULT incident where I needed it...twice...due to allergen overload (thanks Mountain Cedar) 

2) Cloth Diaper Inserts
Remember when my cats flooded my bathroom? I discovered cloth diaper inserts (bamboo heavy wetter kind specifically) soaked up as much water as a large towel! But they're SO much easier to ring out!! 
Babies are messy. They puke, pee, and poop all over everything you own and love. All the time. You want something that can soak it up in a flash and is easy to toss in the wash. Cloth diapers to the rescue!

3) Gift Certificate For A Hair Wash And Style
Hear me out. I know most of the "salon" gift certificates you're thinking about involve hour long massages and extensive facial or hair treatments. 
You know what I wanted most out of life during those first few months? Someone to wash and style my damn hair. 
Seriously, it's fast and cheap (for the gift giver) and something simple that will make Mom feel pampered. Because when you're operating on 4 hours of sleep a night, the act of washing and styling your hair feels like the biggest chore ever. 

Feel free to take my ideas and run with them!

​Or...

I received these products for free in exchange for an honest review. I receive no additional compensation and being free does not impact my review.

I love essential oils. I'm not one to claim that they can solve every problem you have (and the FDA doesn't like it anyway) but I do believe in aromatherapy and the use of oils for certain things. 

Do not ingest oils unless under the care of a professional. They should be treated like a prescription medication! 

I was given Copaiba and Frankincense by Simply Earth.

I'll tell you a bit about the company because I think they're pretty unique! 

First of all, they're a Christian company and very open about it. This doesn't affect their basic bottom line (making sure you have awesome oils) and I received zero pamphlets in my order. But they do mention on their site that they donate a percentage of their sales because Jesus called believers to help others. 

Each month they have a "cause of the month" and 13% of all sales goes toward that. This month proceeds went to The Hope Project, a group that works toward ending human trafficking. 

This is NOT an MLM company. I know several of my readers purposefully avoid those types of companies (for various reasons) so if that's YOU...here ya go!

I'm not going to make statements about what the oils are "supposed" to do or anything like that...

I'll tell you that they smell really good! The Copaiba is described as a light "warm honey" scent and it delivers. It's really mild but adds a touch of depth to whatever you mix it with. 

Frankincense is a heavier smell but also really good. I, personally, find it calming and grounding. 

I used both in some ugly body butter (coconut oil and shea butter whipped up) and it smelled really good while soothing my itchy dry skin. (Hot showers in dry Arizona winters means itchy, painful skin) 

Both were also really well priced. A big part of Simply Earth is making essential oils attainable for the masses. 

I have some Tea Tree oil headed my way from this company so be on the lookout for that review as well!