I remember looking at my new high school and thinking "I'm going to rule. I'm going to be so cool."
I like to pretend I'm not cool because of parenthood...
When I was a senior and my brother was a freshman I was known as "James' Sister." Not my name. Not my accomplishments. Nope. My little brother was cooler than me.
Even in college I got to where I introduced myself as "Stefan's Girlfriend" because that was an association people could place. "Oh, I do theater" got blank stares.
It used to bother me. Truly it did. In high school I wracked my brain for ways to fit in and, apparently, got the notice of a popular snob who bitched about it behind my back. "Kasondra needs to stop acting like she's popular because she's not."
I hated high school. Probably more than I hate celery.
Okay, maybe as much as I hate celery.
Which is dumb. People wouldn't ask after me or come over if they didn't like me.
Shut up. They wouldn't!
Every year people put out these lists of things they want to change about themselves. Okay, if you're giving up an unhealthy vice or trying to insert a positive change into your life...go for it.
But I see a lot of self-hate this time of year. The fitness industry thrives on it. Watch as MLMs slash prices and gyms offer a special "new customer discount." Check out the ads being shoved in your face for this cream or that procedure. Look at all of the posts coming out encouraging people to change how they dress, talk, interact with people, etc...
Why not make a resolution to accept who you are and love that person? Take your "flaws" and look at them like quirks. When I write, I purposefully give characters quirks that make them unique. Think of your favorite book character. Do they have a catchphrase? What's their identifying detail? What topic do they totally geek out over? What's something weird about them that makes you love them that much more?
You are that person for someone in your life. Unless it's destructive, why change it?
So, one of my main goals in 2016 is to take my flaws and wrap them in a big dumb hug until I learn to love them.
Because everyone loves me for my weirdness...I should be able to as well.