That gif is just TOO perfect! 

As always: Trigger Warning enabled. I read too much and know too many things. Keep it clean. Let's have a good fight. Wait...no...what?

Right to it. If you haven't read the rest please go HERE to get caught up!

This post contains more opinion on my part than some of the others. If you disagree that's fine, but do so respectfully.

Christian offers no aftercare. 
Aftercare is something that happens after a scene. Each submissive's need for aftercare is different. Some need to be cuddled. Some need blankets/chocolate/water (everyone should have water in my opinion). Some just need to be left alone. 
Aftercare is necessary because a scene can involve a serious release of endorphins. You know how after sex a lot of women want to cuddle? It's that, but on crack. 
After their first more intense scene (spanking involved), Christian offers zero aftercare. He doesn't even find out what kind of aftercare she needs. She later has a huge sobbing breakdown THAT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO HELP WITH ORIGINALLY. 
A sub's mental/emotional/physical health following any encounter is the responsibility of the Dominant. Christian falls away from this many times. 

He punishes her improperly. 
He warned her that if she rolled her eyes she would receive a spanking. Fine. That's their dynamic and their rules. 
However, he does it wrong (in my opinion). 
Disciplining an adult is the same as a child. Any parent knows you discuss what went wrong before AND after the punishment. The same applies to adults. 
Christian, however, doesn't go into it. A proper way of dealing out a punishment would have been to remind her "I told you that rolling your eyes offends me and what the punishment would be. Do you understand?" Apply punishment. And then go over it with her after. 
It seemed more out of frustration or anger to me. 

There is a lack of trust between them. 
She doesn't trust him to control himself. He doesn't trust her to safe word. 
They shouldn't "play" together until trust is established. Period. Let me caps that. YOU SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH SOMEONE YOU DON'T TRUST 100%. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. 

He tracks her down in another state when she needs time to think. 
This was just creepy to me. He figures out her schedule and whatnot. It doesn't speak of trust to me. 
I had an ex that did that kind of thing. There's a reason he's my ex. 

He uses sex to shut her up. 
This goes back to using sex as a weapon. (I believe that was in part 1)

She doesn't enjoy pain, but he continues. 
I ended my last post discussing this. Christian Grey is a sexual sadist. He gets pleasure by inflicting pain. However, that is usually paired with sexual masochism....people that find pleasure in pain. 
They are mismatched. Ana may learn to enjoy the submission part, but she doesn't like pain and that isn't necessarily something you can TEACH someone. He, being the experienced one, should see this and end the relationship. Since he can only enjoy sex THIS WAY, he shouldn't be with someone that can't. 


I don't know when the next series on this will come out...because I have to read the next book for it to happen.

I'm back. I've put it off long enough. 

Before I start this installment I have a disclaimer (other than the obvious Trigger Warning that still applies) 

When I get into a subject I tend to research it into the ground. Beat a dead horse and all of that. If there's more to learn? I'm going to learn it. So now you get the results. 

FIRST STEP! If you used 50 Shades of Grey as your "how to" guide I want you to raise your right hand!
Now take that raised hand and slap yourself firmly across the face. Once more, for me. 

This book presents BDSM horribly and sets the inexperienced and unresearched up for injury. 

Yep. I said it. On to the evidence. 

He is constantly providing alcohol to her.
She shouldn't be making decisions on alcohol. She shouldn't be playing (kinky sex) on alcohol. Yes, if you're experienced AND with someone you trust you can get lax on this rule and have a drink or two. But Ana has never done this before and should have her full attention focused on what's going on around her. 
This is not an across the board thing. Some communities see nothing wrong with a little alcohol to loosen up. Truthfully, I don't either. However, Ana has shown that she doesn't handle alcohol well and Christian KNOWS THIS. He seems to give her wine to make her submit more. That is something I take issue with...

When she asks about Safe Words (an acceptable question) his response is "First of all, I hope you never have to use them..."
This bothers me because it sets an unrealistic expectation for Ana. Someone as naive as Ana could be swayed by this comment and hold back a safe word so she doesn't upset her Dom. Safe words aren't there to piss off your Dominant. They are there to protect the submissive's body and mind. A better way to phrase this would have been "My goal is to keep you safe and comfortable. If you feel uncomfortable you say 'Yellow' and we'll pause and reevaluate. If you reach a limit say 'Red' and everything stops." 
Because that's the way it should be, darlings. Safe Word is the equivalent of calling 911. 

The first time he practices bondage with her (tying her with a tie) he doesn't establish safe words and he does it without scissors nearby. 
Ana is new to the lifestyle. Christian should be reviewing safe words (and having her repeat them) each time they play WITHOUT FAIL. It should be drilled into her head. It's not. And this comes up later. 
NEVER practice bondage without a quick out. First of all, silk is horrible for the job because it knots up tightly very quickly. I don't even tie my silk robe tie in a knot! Always have scissors or something close by to remove your chosen bondage implement quickly. 
He also doesn't check her circulation and that bothers me too. He should be checking every so often to make sure that it's not too tight or that she hasn't twisted it up. Even the most experienced does this.

"We can work up to caning...but it's part of the deal" when she expresses FEAR and wishes to make it a hard limit. 
Lesson: The submissive  has most of the power in these relationships. The submissive sets their hard limits. The submissive can Safe Word out. The submissive HANDS OVER TRUST AND CONTROL. 
Therefore, if the submissive puts down a hard limit and the Dominant shrugs it off? Run, do not walk, away. If caning someone is part of his deal he needs to find someone that enjoys being caned. Period. Yes, limits can change. But this is one of their first kink encounters. Limits don't change that quickly. 

My current theory is that Grey is not just a Dominant. He's a sadist. He ENJOYS inflicting pain. 
That isn't necessarily a problem if you find someone that enjoys receiving pain (a masochist). Ana expresses her EXTREME dislike for pain on more than one occasion. Yes, she enjoys light pain but the extreme stuff is not her thing. That is FINE....as long as Christian can accept that. (Spoiler: He sucks at it)
Basically: I see nothing wrong with sadism BUT Ana is not consenting to or excited by it. She's not a masochist by any means and that's what he needs. 

Thus ends Part 2. I have at least one more installment for Book One. Until then, do your research (And DEAR LORD, don't use Wikipedia.) 

Trigger Warning for abuse and rape talk therein. Protect yourself. You choose if you wish to keep reading :)


I was going to make this one blog post but I'm up to chapter Fourteen and already have fodder for Christian's abusive behavior. That's disgusting. 

The hardest part about this project? Reading the book. I'll probably do an entire post on the word choices that I hate. 

But, onward! 

I've spoken on Facebook about how I believe Christian Grey of the "acclaimed" 50 Shades of Grey is NOT the "perfect man" nor is he the type of man you should be seeking out. He is, in fact, overbearing and abusive. If you want to get technical (and I won't in this particular post) he's also a terrible dominant. 

Why are so many women looking the other way? He's described as incredibly attractive. He's also very rich. 

The uninformed have also looked at his overbearing and controlling behavior and said "but he's her dominant so it's okay." Do some research on a proper Dom/sub relationship before you talk to me about that, k?

So, evidence. 

From the very beginning Christian warns Ana "stay away from me." Now, this is after HE SEEKS HER OUT. That's a little weird. 
It gets even more backwards because after warning "stay away" he buys her a lavish gift of first edition books. 
I'm not 100% sure this is indicative of abuse, but it's not healthy. 

He DEMANDS to know where she is (when she calls drunk) and then tracks her cell phone to pick her up.
This is excused or ignored by readers because her "friend" attempts to sexually assault her and Christian saves the day. So I've been told "But what would have happened if he hadn't have done that? She could have gotten raped." A favorable outcome does not excuse the behavior. 


What if we took it to the extreme? Girl gets raped but the bar she was going to be at catches on fire? Oh, well it's a good thing she got raped because she would have been in that bar instead! 

Does it still work? No? Then shut up.

Splattered throughout the book, compliments are followed closely by reprimands. 
Abusers do this. It sneaks the blow in under the guise of being "helpful" or "character building" or whatever. 
Direct example, he compliments how she looks in an outfit. She blushes and looks down.
"You know, you really should learn how to take a compliment." His tone is castigating.
Castigate is to reprimand someone severely. 
He reprimanded her for BLUSHING?! Because she should be able to control that, right? It's even more frustrating when you consider this is directly after she woke up in his hotel room after drinking/puking herself unconscious the previous night. 

She plainly tells him "I prefer Ana" and he continues to call her Anastasia....UNTIL later when he wants something from her. 
It's a small thing but it's a definite power play. It bothered me a lot. It's in the *denying* portion of the Abuse Power And Control Wheel I think

He withholds affection/attention when he's angry.
Any time Ana annoys him or does something of which he does not approve he shuts down. This happens A LOT. It's definitely an emotional abuse technique.

Direct quote from Ana: "He uses sex as a weapon." 
If this is not a RED FREAKING FLAG to you...I don't know. It should be. Sex is something to be enjoyed and shared. It should never be a weapon or used for coercion. 
Christian likes to have serious conversations during sex or directly following sex...when he knows his victim will be more pliable to his will.

When Ana is still in the consideration phase for Christian's proposed "Dominant/submissive" relationship he utters this phrase: "If you make the right decision I'll see you Sunday."
First of all, whichever decision she reaches would be the right one because it's HER decision. Stating that there is a right or wrong decision is, you guessed it, abusive. Having a relationship with him is the only "right" decision? NEXT.

It's only chapter 14. I have more of this crap to wade through.