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Let's be straight: Anxiety sucks. Whether it's a full blown panic attack or an irrational reaction to a simple problem...anxiety sucks. 

I compiled a list of things in a "fun" format to try the next time you feel *that* feeling coming on. 

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. Not all of these things will work for you. Do not take my advice as gospel. Make sure you have an official anxiety diagnosis from a professional, as it can actually be a symptom of other issues. 

Ready? 

A - Animals
Hug your pet. Ask your friend if you can hug their pet. Go play with puppies at the humane society. Ask a stranger if you can pet their dog (ALWAYS ASK).

B - Breathe
Breathe properly! Anxiety can cause a choking sensation and shallow breathing can make it worse. 

C - Coping Statements
"It's anxiety, I'm not dying" or "I'm breathing" or "I'm safe" can make a world of difference in the moment.

D - Distract Yourself
Download the FREE Kindle reading app on whatever device you have on hand (usually your phone) and start reading! There are always free books available. 

E - Expect The Best
Yes, it's the "power of positive thinking" in a way. "It's going to be okay." 

F - Fresh Air
Go outside. Open a window. Stand in front of the A/C vent or fan. Sometimes a simple change will bring you back around. 

G - Grounding exercises
Name 5 things you can see, name 4 things you can feel, name 3 things you can hear, name 2 things you can smell, name 1 good thing about yourself. 

H - Have a Snack/Gum
Okay, it sounds weird and I'm definitely not saying "eat your feelings" or anything. But popping a piece of gum or a mint can trick your body into calming down a smidge. If you're eating, you're not in danger.

I - Ignore It
Controversial tip but stay with me. For me, sometimes I have to just pretend everything is peachy keen and hope my brain gives up. 

J - Joke (laugh)
Tell a joke. Read a joke. Have someone tell you a joke. Pick a comedian on Netflix or Youtube and sit back. Laughing releases endorphins and can release tension.

K - Keep Going
Push through the task at hand if possible. Occasionally I'll find myself on the other side saying "oh, it wasn't that bad!" 

L - Learn Something New
What is your favorite lesser known Greek god/dess? Which presidents had dogs? Can you train a ferret? 
I don't know. Go Google it and distract your brain by learning a new tidbit. 

M - Music
Music is my go-to. I have a playlist on my Amazon Prime Music labeled "Anxiety Girl" and I'll play through it when I need to breathe. If I can, I sing along as well. 

N - Narrate Your Life
Here's an embarrassing thing I do but it works for me. I start narrating what I'm doing. Usually, I'll pick an unusual voice. Picking up the kids and it's crowded on rough anxiety day? Insert me in a computer voice saying "Children acquired." 

O - Ocean Sounds (or whatever you like) 
Ambient Mixer offers all sorts of neat options. A lot are full of geek. Check it out. I like to ride in the Impala in the rain, personally.

P - Pills
THERE IS NO SHAME IN REACHING FOR YOUR PRESCRIBED MEDICATION. 

Q - Quote (mantra) 
Repeat a quote that will keep you going. Write it down in pretty font. Write it on your arm/hand. Mine? "Be brave. Live." 

R - Reframe Your Thinking
"I'm going to kick ass at this interview" instead of "Oh crap, I hope I do okay"

S - Stop Negative Thinking
Stomp on that mental spiral as soon as you can! 

T - Talk it Out
Post on social media asking for help. Start a blog (there are private options). Write in your journal. Text/Phone a friend. Tell your significant other to just sit there and mostly listen while you chatter away. Half the time, I find my own solutions. 

U - Uplift Yourself or Others
Say something nice about yourself. Compliment a stranger. Comment on a friend's social media post. Do a random act of kindness. 

V - Validate Your Feelings
I know this is in direct correlation to the "ignore it" advice I gave earlier, but I also said not all of the tips would work for everyone. There are times when I have to tell myself "I'm freaked out and that's okay." 

W - Wait It Out
A lot of anxiety surges are short lived. Remind yourself that you made it out of the last one and you'll kick this one's ass as well. 

X - Exercise
(X words are hard, yo) Use that energy! Do some cardio. Go for a walk (And get some FRESH AIR!) Clean your house. Clean your car. 

Y - Yell
Put your face in a pillow and scream all of those bad words building up in your head. Lock yourself in your car and yell until your chest feels better. Just be sure and yell with your diaphragm or you'll hurt your vocal chords. 

Z - Zen (meditate) 
Get your zen on! Find a quick meditation on Youtube or download an app on your phone. Do some yoga poses. These tie back to BREATHING as well!! 

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When I say "Baby Shower" I'm sure visions of diaper cakes and onesies dance through your head. 

You know what Mom is going to get thousands of? Diapers and onesies. 

You're right, you can't have too many diapers. But, if you're like me, you like to be original with your gifts.

Here are THREE things Mom probably won't get, but needs at her shower. 

1) Liquid Benedryl
No, this isn't for sleepless nights (I'd be lying if I said I'd never considered it though). Allergies can occur out of nowhere. The first time you introduce peas may be when Junior's throat closes up. Even if allergies don't run in your family; EVERYONE needs liquid Benedryl on hand at all times. 
I had my own ADULT incident where I needed it...twice...due to allergen overload (thanks Mountain Cedar) 

2) Cloth Diaper Inserts
Remember when my cats flooded my bathroom? I discovered cloth diaper inserts (bamboo heavy wetter kind specifically) soaked up as much water as a large towel! But they're SO much easier to ring out!! 
Babies are messy. They puke, pee, and poop all over everything you own and love. All the time. You want something that can soak it up in a flash and is easy to toss in the wash. Cloth diapers to the rescue!

3) Gift Certificate For A Hair Wash And Style
Hear me out. I know most of the "salon" gift certificates you're thinking about involve hour long massages and extensive facial or hair treatments. 
You know what I wanted most out of life during those first few months? Someone to wash and style my damn hair. 
Seriously, it's fast and cheap (for the gift giver) and something simple that will make Mom feel pampered. Because when you're operating on 4 hours of sleep a night, the act of washing and styling your hair feels like the biggest chore ever. 

Feel free to take my ideas and run with them!

​Or...

When I was a kid we shopped almost exclusively at Goodwill. This was back when shopping at thrift stores wasn't cool or trendy. 

So when it became THE place to shop....I grumbled. 

Now that my boys are constantly growing? I get it. I can drop $12 on a handful of items at Goodwill instead of spending $20 on a single item for them that they'll outgrow in a month anyway. 

I've made it a point to swing by every now and then. I browse the clothes, pick through the random shelves of items, and scour the books. 

​I thought I'd share today's "haul" with you!

I mostly went for long-sleeved boy shirts. Arizona has a very small window for cold weather so I'm NOT about to drop $15 a shirt for something they'll wear a month and outgrow next year. 

Two of these were $2 and one had an orange tag (making it $1) 

Disillusioned by the tragic loss of his family, Thomas Kent just wants to die. But a mysterious message and a voice from the past stir him to fight for his life and the lives of a family he doesn't know. He is reluctantly drawn into the murderous plot of a dangerous cult that threatens to steal America's future. As he attempts to expose the cult, Thomas finds himself facing his past and the God he had denied.

My son's teacher is stuck in the hospital (and has been for quite some time now) so the school is collecting canned goods for her family. I'm going to try to slip this book in for her...because being stuck in a hospital bed SUCKS. It had an orange tag (so $1) and it looks appropriate to send to a Christian School teacher....

I bought a lamp. I don't normally buy lamps or anything like that...but this was only $3 and FREAKING ADORABLE so I couldn't pass it up. I keep saying I'm going to get a lamp for the living room but haven't found an affordable one....until now!
I do want to get a cooler bulb for it because the one in there gets super hot. Other than that? It's cute. I like it! 

Total spent today? Roughly $11.00!  I'll definitely go back soon but I'll check to see what special deals are which days so I can maximize my spending. 

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We definitely encourage a love of reading in this house. One way to do that is to start reading to them at bedtime. Normally, we pick easy to follow chapter books and do 1-2 chapters a night. 

So here are 5 of our favorites so far! 

1) The Little House Collection
I think I liked this a lot because it's based on true events so the kids got a little history lesson with it too. We had discussions on what life was like back then and because it's from the point of view of a child it was easy to follow. 

2) The Wayside School
As I mentioned in a previous post, I still love these books. They're silly and funny. The chapters are short enough to do 2-3 each night and simple enough to keep my boys' attention.

3) Upside-Down Magic
This book follows a group of kids who can't seem to get their magic "right." It teaches a lesson about being true to yourself and accepting your uniqueness. I think I enjoyed it as much as the kids did! (Okay, maybe more...)

4) Ramona
There are A LOT of books in this series (we haven't read them all.) The boys liked this because it's from the point of view of a young kid with young kid problems and misunderstandings. It offered a lot of discussion points too. GREAT for kids with first-day of school jitters as Ramona deals with that!

5) Magic Tree House
Again, A LOT of books in this series (and we didn't even finish our first 4 in the box set...I need to start those again) 
Imagination is the name of the game! Yes, they really "go back in time" or whatever, but so what? The kids had fun and ended up learning little bits too.

So you want to start a family!

Are you....are you sure? Have you read the blog? 

I kid...mostly. 

I try to keep things real with my advice here on Sarcastic Parenting so here is a list of 5 realistic ways you can prepare yourself BEFORE you get pregnant!

1) Sleep on your side!
Belly and Back sleeping will be a thing of the past. Don't "get it all in now" because you'll have trouble transitioning later. Try to roll onto your side if you wake up sleeping another way. Bonus if you can become accustomed to sleeping on your left side (something about arteries and blood flow)

2) Enjoy your favorite foods now!
Especially things on the "no no" lists (rare steak, soft cheese, sushi, etc)! Eat those now and SAVOR EVERY BITE. Take your time drinking that glass of wine or mixed drink. 
Eat the things you love because your taste buds might change. It's usually joked about in the form of cravings and "ice cream and pickles lolz." You may develop a sudden love of salsa or find that you can't be in the same room as someone eating pizza. ENJOY IT NOW.

3) Make your bathroom a nice place. 
You'll be there a lot whether it's peeing, puking, or any other of the fun things pregnancy might bring. 
Stash a comfy pillow under the sink (tile is hard on the knees). Paint it a color you like. Put up some art you won't want to light on fire when it's 2am and you're in there for the 15th time peeing. 
​
4) Grooming!
Are you one that enjoys having smooth legs or other areas? Start getting waxes regularly. There will be a time when you can't reach (or see in some cases) these things. Getting the hair waxed regularly NOW will make it softer and easier to deal with later on. 

5) Self Care
Look, pregnancy can be awesome. It has sweet and funny moments. It's also full of nausea/vomiting, weird pains, weird swelling, heartburn, etc... Start a routine of taking a few hours each week (a whole day or a little bit each day) where you take care of YOU. Read a book, watch your favorite show with your feet up, fix your nails...whatever you like. If you make it a routine NOW, you won't feel bad about taking the time when you're pregnant. Trust me, your body is going to be working HARD to literally grow another human. It's okay to take time for yourself. 

A lot of my friends have small businesses. Some work in MLM like I used to, some do something crafty, etc... 

So this is a small tip that can make a big impact!! 

I'm about to sound like your mother but....

Thank You Cards

Come on, Kas! We live in the digital age! I can just send an email or a text. 

This is exactly why you shouldn't. 

A quick handwritten card means so much. Even if all it says is, "Thanks for ordering!"

And don't spend an arm and a leg on cards. These pretty things were nearly half off at Target. They're blank on the inside so I can write whatever I want. 

Or you can reach for the ever trusty Amazon! (my favorite because I don't have to interact with people)

So go the extra mile and include a card in anything you send out!!! You can send an email or a text AS WELL, but take the 5 mins to include a personal touch. 

And, sometimes, you should just send a friend a note that says "Thanks for being you." Trust me. They'll love it!!!