Sarcastic Parenting
Find Me!
  • Home
  • About Me
    • Links to Previous Blogs
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
  • Legal Stuff
    • Privacy Policy
    • Disclosure Policy

Dear Non-Parent,

9/18/2013

1 Comment

 
I'm going to be the bearer of bad news. 

I wish I could say I take no pleasure in doing this...but I do. Oh, I take plenty of pleasure. 

You don't have children? Or maybe you just had your first baby? 

You.Know.Nothing.About.Parenting.

I know, this comes as a shock. You're full of advice and tips and tricks. You may have worked in a daycare center. You may babysit family members from time to time. Hell, you may even have friends with children. 

It doesn't matter. You know nothing. 

It's okay. I was once like you. I had a laundry list of things I would NEVER do and things that MY children would never get away with (especially in public). When I got pregnant I had my entire parenting philosophy planned out. My household rules were set before Boy1 was as big as a grapefruit. 

And I followed these things until he was born. 

Suddenly I came to the same realization I'm sharing with you now: I Knew NOTHING about being a parent. 

No TV? Here, watch this show so I can do a load of dishes, vacuum, or breathe alone for 10 seconds. 

No themed toys/clothing? Here, you love Cars right? Will you wear underwear more often if Mater is on your butt? You will!! Here's a pack of Cars underwear. 

I was the same person that looked with disdain at screaming children in the grocery store. You may have nodded in solidarity with me when I whispered, "God, take that child out to the car or come back later." But when I WAS that parent? He's screaming because he's tired and *wants* to go to the car. So leaving is giving in to his little demands. He's overwhelmed because everyone keeps touching him or talking to him. This is the only spare few minutes that we had to go shopping today and we're trying to be fast so please don't stare. 

No, I can't call you tomorrow. The instant I try to pick up the phone is the same instant the screaming fight starts. Unless you want to have a conversation that sounds like a recording of a Tourette's patient you'll have to settle with a text, Facebook PM, or email. I probably *could* call after the kids are in bed, but I won't. That's MY time, not yours. If the day went smoothly I might be in the mood for a phone call. If it was a typical day I'll be cuddled on the couch with my husband and a bottle of wine trying not to cry (and probably failing)

I could do without the sideways look as you bite back a smile at my disheveled appearance as well. It took 20 minutes to get the kids dressed and ready to go. Which probably left 5 minutes (10 if I got lucky) for myself. You're lucky I'm wearing pants. 

So go ahead and assume that I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't. I know that. I'm learning as I go. You, however, can stop assuming that you DO know everything. You don't. It's best for everyone if you acknowledge that or at the very least....
Picture
Because I'm doing the best I can without your "help." 
1 Comment
Sarah link
9/17/2013 11:34:10 pm

Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes. And bonus points for one of my favorite David Tennant gifs!!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Got Pinterests?
    Follow

    Archives

    January 2019
    October 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    50 Shades
    AZtoAK
    BookReview
    Books
    Cats
    Comicon
    Declutter365
    Food
    For Cheap
    For Fun
    Friday
    Funny
    Gifts
    Hotel Living
    MHM
    Parenting
    Party
    Personal
    Princess
    Rant
    ReadAThon
    Recipe
    Review
    Skin Care
    Story Time
    TastyTuesday
    Thrift Store
    Tip
    TodayInHistory
    Top5
    Travel
    Weird
    Wine
    YouTube

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.