I'm (not) Fine

What is your default answer when someone asks how you are and you don't want to talk about it? 

"I'm fine." 

When my depression was at its peak and people would politely ask this question I would always plaster on a grin and answer, "I'm fine." 

The other popular answer was "Just tired." 

When I really felt like this:

A few years ago, I'm not sure exactly when, I stopped lying. 

Now, I don't word vomit my problems all over unsuspecting friends. But I don't smile and say "I'm fine" when I'm really not. 

After my surgery a friend checked on me to ask how I was doing. My response was something like, "Sore, tired, bored." She told me it was refreshing to see me honestly say how I felt. I didn't see a reason to lie. I was bored as hell staying in bed. I was tired because healing is exhausting. I was sore because I had surgery. Why bundle all that up in "fine" when I wasn't? 

If I'm having a bad day I'll give it a word like "overwhelmed" or "stressed." This is good for ME. Instead of pushing my feelings down and ignoring them, I give them names. 

There are times when a friend will hug me and ask how I'm doing and I'll respond with "Okay" because I'm not horrible but not GOOD either. 

And if I don't want to talk about it?

I don't hide that either. 

So my challenge to you is to stop using that phrase. AT ALL. Even if you're "fine" take a second to find a more descriptive word. Be honest with yourself and others. Trust me, it feels good. (Weird at first...but good)