Trigger Warning for abuse and rape talk therein. Protect yourself. You choose if you wish to keep reading :)
I was going to make this one blog post but I'm up to chapter Fourteen and already have fodder for Christian's abusive behavior. That's disgusting.
The hardest part about this project? Reading the book. I'll probably do an entire post on the word choices that I hate.
But, onward!
I've spoken on Facebook about how I believe Christian Grey of the "acclaimed" 50 Shades of Grey is NOT the "perfect man" nor is he the type of man you should be seeking out. He is, in fact, overbearing and abusive. If you want to get technical (and I won't in this particular post) he's also a terrible dominant.
Why are so many women looking the other way? He's described as incredibly attractive. He's also very rich.
I was going to make this one blog post but I'm up to chapter Fourteen and already have fodder for Christian's abusive behavior. That's disgusting.
The hardest part about this project? Reading the book. I'll probably do an entire post on the word choices that I hate.
But, onward!
I've spoken on Facebook about how I believe Christian Grey of the "acclaimed" 50 Shades of Grey is NOT the "perfect man" nor is he the type of man you should be seeking out. He is, in fact, overbearing and abusive. If you want to get technical (and I won't in this particular post) he's also a terrible dominant.
Why are so many women looking the other way? He's described as incredibly attractive. He's also very rich.
The uninformed have also looked at his overbearing and controlling behavior and said "but he's her dominant so it's okay." Do some research on a proper Dom/sub relationship before you talk to me about that, k?
So, evidence.
From the very beginning Christian warns Ana "stay away from me." Now, this is after HE SEEKS HER OUT. That's a little weird.
It gets even more backwards because after warning "stay away" he buys her a lavish gift of first edition books.
I'm not 100% sure this is indicative of abuse, but it's not healthy.
He DEMANDS to know where she is (when she calls drunk) and then tracks her cell phone to pick her up.
This is excused or ignored by readers because her "friend" attempts to sexually assault her and Christian saves the day. So I've been told "But what would have happened if he hadn't have done that? She could have gotten raped." A favorable outcome does not excuse the behavior.
What if we took it to the extreme? Girl gets raped but the bar she was going to be at catches on fire? Oh, well it's a good thing she got raped because she would have been in that bar instead!
Does it still work? No? Then shut up.
So, evidence.
From the very beginning Christian warns Ana "stay away from me." Now, this is after HE SEEKS HER OUT. That's a little weird.
It gets even more backwards because after warning "stay away" he buys her a lavish gift of first edition books.
I'm not 100% sure this is indicative of abuse, but it's not healthy.
He DEMANDS to know where she is (when she calls drunk) and then tracks her cell phone to pick her up.
This is excused or ignored by readers because her "friend" attempts to sexually assault her and Christian saves the day. So I've been told "But what would have happened if he hadn't have done that? She could have gotten raped." A favorable outcome does not excuse the behavior.
What if we took it to the extreme? Girl gets raped but the bar she was going to be at catches on fire? Oh, well it's a good thing she got raped because she would have been in that bar instead!
Does it still work? No? Then shut up.
Splattered throughout the book, compliments are followed closely by reprimands.
Abusers do this. It sneaks the blow in under the guise of being "helpful" or "character building" or whatever.
Direct example, he compliments how she looks in an outfit. She blushes and looks down.
"You know, you really should learn how to take a compliment." His tone is castigating.
Castigate is to reprimand someone severely.
He reprimanded her for BLUSHING?! Because she should be able to control that, right? It's even more frustrating when you consider this is directly after she woke up in his hotel room after drinking/puking herself unconscious the previous night.
She plainly tells him "I prefer Ana" and he continues to call her Anastasia....UNTIL later when he wants something from her.
It's a small thing but it's a definite power play. It bothered me a lot. It's in the *denying* portion of the Abuse Power And Control Wheel I think
He withholds affection/attention when he's angry.
Any time Ana annoys him or does something of which he does not approve he shuts down. This happens A LOT. It's definitely an emotional abuse technique.
Direct quote from Ana: "He uses sex as a weapon."
If this is not a RED FREAKING FLAG to you...I don't know. It should be. Sex is something to be enjoyed and shared. It should never be a weapon or used for coercion.
Christian likes to have serious conversations during sex or directly following sex...when he knows his victim will be more pliable to his will.
When Ana is still in the consideration phase for Christian's proposed "Dominant/submissive" relationship he utters this phrase: "If you make the right decision I'll see you Sunday."
First of all, whichever decision she reaches would be the right one because it's HER decision. Stating that there is a right or wrong decision is, you guessed it, abusive. Having a relationship with him is the only "right" decision? NEXT.
It's only chapter 14. I have more of this crap to wade through.
Abusers do this. It sneaks the blow in under the guise of being "helpful" or "character building" or whatever.
Direct example, he compliments how she looks in an outfit. She blushes and looks down.
"You know, you really should learn how to take a compliment." His tone is castigating.
Castigate is to reprimand someone severely.
He reprimanded her for BLUSHING?! Because she should be able to control that, right? It's even more frustrating when you consider this is directly after she woke up in his hotel room after drinking/puking herself unconscious the previous night.
She plainly tells him "I prefer Ana" and he continues to call her Anastasia....UNTIL later when he wants something from her.
It's a small thing but it's a definite power play. It bothered me a lot. It's in the *denying* portion of the Abuse Power And Control Wheel I think
He withholds affection/attention when he's angry.
Any time Ana annoys him or does something of which he does not approve he shuts down. This happens A LOT. It's definitely an emotional abuse technique.
Direct quote from Ana: "He uses sex as a weapon."
If this is not a RED FREAKING FLAG to you...I don't know. It should be. Sex is something to be enjoyed and shared. It should never be a weapon or used for coercion.
Christian likes to have serious conversations during sex or directly following sex...when he knows his victim will be more pliable to his will.
When Ana is still in the consideration phase for Christian's proposed "Dominant/submissive" relationship he utters this phrase: "If you make the right decision I'll see you Sunday."
First of all, whichever decision she reaches would be the right one because it's HER decision. Stating that there is a right or wrong decision is, you guessed it, abusive. Having a relationship with him is the only "right" decision? NEXT.
It's only chapter 14. I have more of this crap to wade through.
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