I wasn't sure I was going to write this. The idea formed in my brain and I refused to consider it.
But I feel that it's necessary.
See, some of the most hateful people I've ever met have been intactivists. (anti-circumcision) Don't get me wrong, pro-circ people, you're not off the hook. But this is for my fellow anti-circ friends.
My first son was circ'd. I did no research and didn't consider any other way. When I saw what it truly was and had to take care of him? I started asking questions.
I didn't like most of the answers.
I was especially curious about how to broach the subject of having one son circ'd and one son intact. You'd THINK this would be an easy thing to answer. I got two main schools of thought...
The self-righteous: "I wouldn't know because I'm not a baby mutilator."
The passive aggressive: "I would tell him 'by the time I learned the right way there was no hope for you.'"
Right. That's totally unhelpful.
I stopped researching for a LONG time because I had a ton of Mommy guilt and felt constantly attacked ("You let some rapist mutilate your child???") It was the unemotional and logical friends that helped me make the decision.
I've seen some of the WORST BULLYING led by intactivist groups.
People's Facebook pages are posted publicly and privately with the name visible. It's understood that you're supposed to go and harass the poster (under the guise "inform") about how circumcision is wrong.
Things like this:
But I feel that it's necessary.
See, some of the most hateful people I've ever met have been intactivists. (anti-circumcision) Don't get me wrong, pro-circ people, you're not off the hook. But this is for my fellow anti-circ friends.
My first son was circ'd. I did no research and didn't consider any other way. When I saw what it truly was and had to take care of him? I started asking questions.
I didn't like most of the answers.
I was especially curious about how to broach the subject of having one son circ'd and one son intact. You'd THINK this would be an easy thing to answer. I got two main schools of thought...
The self-righteous: "I wouldn't know because I'm not a baby mutilator."
The passive aggressive: "I would tell him 'by the time I learned the right way there was no hope for you.'"
Right. That's totally unhelpful.
I stopped researching for a LONG time because I had a ton of Mommy guilt and felt constantly attacked ("You let some rapist mutilate your child???") It was the unemotional and logical friends that helped me make the decision.
I've seen some of the WORST BULLYING led by intactivist groups.
People's Facebook pages are posted publicly and privately with the name visible. It's understood that you're supposed to go and harass the poster (under the guise "inform") about how circumcision is wrong.
Things like this:
Info redacted because I have class
People on the page that posted the image made comments about her appearance and how she's obviously an attention ho.
Because that's SO helpful. Tell anyone they're an attention grabbing *insert expletive* and they'll easily see your side of the argument.
When a few of us got on to say, "Hey, this is bullying and it's wrong" we were basically told that she DESERVES IT for mutilating her child.
You know the common vein of bullies and rapists, right? The victim deserves it.
Just as an FYI: If someone has ALREADY had their son cut there isn't much you can do to reverse the decision. Telling them that they're a moron or disgusting is just going to put a bad taste in their mouth about intactivism. Chances are, they won't go researching ever again because they don't want to risk coming in contact with more hate. (That's almost what happened in my case)
I'm sure I'm going to catch all sorts of hell for this post. Recently, a member of a FB group posted about being mindful of their words...and was told that no one takes to kindly to being told how to behave.
I get being angry. I get angry about how people are LIED TO by doctors when it comes to circumcision and intact care. I get that.
I don't understand the hate. AT ALL. More flies with honey, people. It's not worth it to be a total jerk to someone else. There is a way to present information without attacking someone.
Or maybe I'm just bad at intactivism.
Because that's SO helpful. Tell anyone they're an attention grabbing *insert expletive* and they'll easily see your side of the argument.
When a few of us got on to say, "Hey, this is bullying and it's wrong" we were basically told that she DESERVES IT for mutilating her child.
You know the common vein of bullies and rapists, right? The victim deserves it.
Just as an FYI: If someone has ALREADY had their son cut there isn't much you can do to reverse the decision. Telling them that they're a moron or disgusting is just going to put a bad taste in their mouth about intactivism. Chances are, they won't go researching ever again because they don't want to risk coming in contact with more hate. (That's almost what happened in my case)
I'm sure I'm going to catch all sorts of hell for this post. Recently, a member of a FB group posted about being mindful of their words...and was told that no one takes to kindly to being told how to behave.
I get being angry. I get angry about how people are LIED TO by doctors when it comes to circumcision and intact care. I get that.
I don't understand the hate. AT ALL. More flies with honey, people. It's not worth it to be a total jerk to someone else. There is a way to present information without attacking someone.
Or maybe I'm just bad at intactivism.
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