No Alcohol
You're probably the designated driver tonight.
Cheap Vodka
You're a broke college kid...chances are you aren't even old enough to legally drink.
Expensive Vodka
In a martini? You're a spy.
Straight up? You want to get drunk...like, yesterday.
Rum
You're either a pirate or enjoy pretending you live on the beach.
Whiskey
You're hardcore and likely to punch that rude guy in the corner before you finish your drink.
Gin
You're old. Sorry.