You're probably the designated driver tonight.
You're a broke college kid...chances are you aren't even old enough to legally drink.
In a martini? You're a spy.
Straight up? You want to get drunk...like, yesterday.
You're either a pirate or enjoy pretending you live on the beach.
You're hardcore and likely to punch that rude guy in the corner before you finish your drink.
You're old. Sorry.